Today, I am 13 weeks 3 days!
I have a midwife appointment tomorrow, thank God! I have been needing some confirmation that the baby is still...you know...alive. I had an ultrasound that showed the heartbeat at 7 weeks 5 days, but nothing since then! I last saw the midwife at 9 weeks, but she didn't listen for a heartbeat because she felt it was probably too early to hear and would freak me out if we couldn't hear it! Plus, I didn't even have any sort of physical examination that visit, so it just seems like a really long time to wait for confirmation that everything is still ok! I mean, most of this time I have had symptoms that should indicate that the pregnancy is still going well, but now that I'm heading into the second trimester (holy shit!) those symptoms are slowing down.
Speaking of symptoms, my nausea is starting to subside, which is so great! I'm still having a bit in the morning (I had to lie down on the bathroom floor this morning actually), but not later in the day, so eating has been going better. I think I have gained at least 2lbs also, which is a relief. I felt like I had been stepping on the scale and seeing the same number everyday for a long time. It's sort of weird to be stepping on the scale and hoping for a higher number! The most bothersome symptom at this point is abdominal discomfort. It feels like there's a lot of stretching or something happening in there, which is uncomfortable. I get some weird pain in my pelvic and hip bones too. It all kind of makes me wonder how I'm going to tolerate labor!
Speaking of labor, I found a doula! They're a doula team actually, but only one of them comes to the birth, depending on who is available. I met with them for an initial consult and just talking with them over coffee (tea for me, haha) helped me feel so supported! They provide quite a bit: pre-natal visits to go over comfort measures, being there for the whole labor/delivery, then for up to two hours afterward to help with breast feeding, then 2-3 postpartum visits. I really can't emphasize enough how awesome of an experience just meeting them was! So, hopefully having them on board will make for a positive birth experience.
In other happenings, I have been "coming out" about the pregnancy, which has mostly been a positive experience. I think it's helped it feel more real too. Having the pregnancy be a secret was starting to feel weird. Plus, I am showing a little anyway, so it sort of had to be done. I've told people at work and made a general Facebook announcement. My parents also started telling my extended family. My 85-year-old grandmother actually said that she's so glad the science exists for me to be able to do this, which was so awesome to hear! I will say that she is afraid to tell my grandfather, so my mom is going to do it, but has to take my dad with her for back-up basically. I told my parents that it would be ok with me if we just don't tell him (if he's really going to get that riled up), but they're concerned that he'll hear it from someone else. Aside from that, I have had nothing but positive reactions. Many of the reactions have involved some level of shock though! I haven't explained to anyone who I don't know that well that I used a donor, so I think there may be some general confusion. I mean, it's not really a secret, but it just feels awkward to try to explain myself if I'm not asked.
So overall, things are going well and starting to feel real, which is both really exciting and kind of scary at the same time!
