Well, here I am at 39 weeks pregnant! Sometimes, I still can't believe it. The 3rd trimester has been busy and exhausting as you can probably tell from my lack of posting! Let's see:
Physically: I can't complain. I've had pretty uncomplicated pregnancy. I have been feeling increasingly uncomfortable as the end draws near- heavy, swollen, achy. There was a bad bout of heartburn. Also, some hip pain that made it hard to sleep. All in all though, nothing too bad. Most symptoms have been short-lived. Last week, I had a few higher-than-normal-for-me blood pressure readings, which made me kind of nervous, but it turned out to not be preeclampsia (thank god) and has since resolved.
Emotionally: I'm surprised that I haven't been more hormonal. I think my family would disagree with this, but the issue there is that I've had to start setting limits with them since I've been pregnant, which they don't like. I've also felt really driven most of the pregnancy, but especially toward the end. That nesting energy is something fierce. Sometimes, I worry that I haven't been mindful enough throughout the pregnancy, like I should slow down and enjoy it more, but at the same time, mama needs to get stuff done!
Facing fears: I finally got a car after years of dealing with a driving phobia. I had started driving again last year, but I bit the bullet and actually bought a car and started driving more regularly around 32 weeks pregnant. I even have a nicely installed car seat. Don't get me wrong, I still don't love driving, but a mama's gotta do what a mama's gotta do. Also, in terms of fear, I will say that I am starting to fear the whole birth process. I mean, I don't know that I've ever not feared it, but it's getting close. I would really like to have an unmedicated birth. That being said, I am really scared of how bad the pain might be. It's one of those things that's kind of hard to imagine. As my due date draws near, I'm also starting to get worried about the possibility of induction...c-section...all that fun stuff. I also worry about feeling like some type of failure if there is a complication and I end up with a c-section. In reality, I know that the important thing is that the baby and I come out of this healthy, but I still feel some internal pressure to have this natural childbirth experience. Fingers crossed!
Some other highlights:
I had a really sweet baby shower in March put on by one of my good friends from work! I have to say that my village has really grown throughout the pregnancy and I feel like the baby is coming into the world with lots of "aunties." This is important to me since my own family is far away and rather small.
Amazing diaper cake!
Amazing food!
Everything was rainbow themed, of course!
I've also been working on the baby's room! It's kind of minimalist, I will admit. The baby will be sleeping in my room in a co-sleeper for now, so that's partially why I didn't go too crazy doing a "nursery." I kind of see her room as something that's more for her when she's older. Here's what I have though:
So, that's brings us to today, May 10th. Two days away from Mother's Day! I could have another three weeks to go, which is kind of exhausting to think about. I know that the baby will come when she is meant to come though. Overall, I have loved being pregnant. Sometimes, I get sad at the thought that I might not get to do it again, but I am grateful that I had a chance to experience it once. I know that there are so many LGBT folks and single women who struggle to find a way to have child, so I try to not take it for granted. Over the next few days, I am working on getting through the rest of my to-do list in the hopes that that will help my body relax and go into labor. I understand that that is probably wishful thinking, but it can't hurt to have the to-do list done, right? I can't wait to meet my daughter! Next update will likely be post-baby! Stay tuned.
