Choosing a sperm bank

Before I can delve into the complicated process of choosing a donor, I have to first choose the actual sperm bank.  So, that's one of my big tasks for the next couple of months.  I'm working with a local reproductive endocrinologist who will do the actual insemination, but they do not have a sperm bank.  However, they do purchase some vials of sperm from New England Cryogenic Center (NECC), which is based out of Boston, and then offer those vials at a lower price.  So, I can purchase these vials or I can make my own arrangements through the sperm bank of my choosing.

Just as an aside, I have really had to work on developing a comfort level with the word "sperm."  Uhg.

The benefit to using vials that my RE's office has purchased through NECC is that it would save money and the hassle of shipping.  The vials are about $200-300 less than you would normally pay.  Now, they're not discounted because they're defective or anything.  The donors available are also still available through NECC, it's just that my RE's office has this arrangement through them.  I don't know the exact details.  In terms of shipping, the vials are already at my RE's office, so I wouldn't have to deal with that.  Shipping of sperm is no easy task.  It's usually around $200 and comes in a liquid nitrogen tank, which is good for a few days to a week and then you also have to have the tank sent back to the sperm bank.

The downside to this is that my RE's office only has seven donors to choose from.  They have given me their profiles and I have looked them over, but there's not a whole lot of information there.  Also, none of these donors are "willing to be known at 18," which is a concern for me.  Another concern, is that I have done some internet research (what I do best) about NECC and I found a few not-so-favorable reviews.  However, I don't know the actual validity of any of these reviews.  The complaints were pretty serious though- accusations about children being born with disabilities and NECC continuing to sell the donor's sperm.  Again, no idea how valid this is.  With any sperm bank, there's only so much screening that be done.  There's always a risk, just like in the general population, that there could be some genetic disorder or disability.  However, I haven't found any such complaints about other sperm banks that I am interested in.  I guess my real concern is that if I went with NECC and my kid ended up to have an issue like this, how guilty would I feel after having read those reviews?  In reality, it's not really that much more money to go with another sperm bank.  If there's one area of my life where I shouldn't be so cheap, it's probably with the other half of my potential child's DNA.

So, I'm going to do a little more thinking about NECC and probably call and see if they have any baby photos or impressions of a couple of the donors available through my RE's office, but I'm strongly leaning toward going through another bank.

The are many other choices, but the two that I've most strongly considered are Pacific Reproductive Services (PRS) and The Sperm Bank of California (TSBC).  PRS is $$$, so I'm probably not going to use them, but I did consider them because they have a good number of donors with adult photos and some with video and many donors who are willing to be known at 18.  Plus, they're lesbian owned.
However, I did actually order a few adult photos of donors that I was interested in and I was kind of disturbed.  It's not that there was anything wrong with them...it's hard to explain.  A couple of them were a little older and balding, not bad looking, but.....I don't know.  I think the adult photo might just be too much for me.

I'm probably going to go with TSBC.  They are pretty much the gold standard in terms of ethics in this industry.  They only allow ten families to be created with one donor.  They are not-for-profit.  They have an ethicist? on their staff.  They don't have adult photos, but they do have very detailed profiles, staff impressions, and baby photos.  Also, many of their donors are willing to be known at 18.

This process involves having to put a lot of blind trust into a sperm bank, which is not an easy thing.  My gut definitely trusts TSBC over NECC, so I'm probably going to suck it up and pay the extra money and deal with the shipping.  I'm hoping to officially make a decision by next month, so that I can begin working on donor selection.