10/11 Weeks

Today, I am 11 weeks, 3 days.  Obviously, I have been bad about keeping up the blog.  I still blame it on the fatigue, nausea, and general lack of productivity.  I am starting to feel somewhat better.  I'm not quite as tired, I haven't vomited lately, but I am still fairly nauseous with no appetite.  I feel like I'm starting to show a little bit, although I haven't gained any actual weight.  It's funny, I've never really had a problem gaining weight before.  My friends say that I'm not showing though, but my clients at work have been eyeing my belly suspiciously and I don't think I'm imagining it.  I'm sort of in this awkward place too where my regular clothes don't fit that great, but maternity clothes are too big, so that's kind of annoying.

Overall, the pregnancy still has not been feeling completely real, but I have a feeling that will change.  This week, I will be approaching the 12 week mark, which means telling more people over the next few weeks.  It means telling the people who didn't know I was trying or even considering parenting, so I think there is a little more potential for weird reactions.  Up until this point, I have told my immediate family and friends who knew that I was trying.  Later this week, my parents are planning to tell my extended family.  At work, I think I will probably start looking more pregnant.  I will probably put something on Facebook in the next week or two.  So, actually, I'm really nervous about these people knowing.  I'm afraid of being disowned by some family members, particularly my republican grandparents on my mom's side.  I've also found that it's just not the best feeling to tell someone you're pregnant and then face a reaction that is anything other than excitement.  So, I am trying to muster up some courage heading into this week.  I am reminding myself that I am not a teenager revealing a pregnancy.  I am a 30 (soon to be 31) year old woman with master's degree who has been planning this for years.  So, I need to have some confidence, if not for me, then for the baby.

On an exciting note, I am meeting a doula team later this week!  I realize that it might be early to get a doula in place, but I didn't want to mess around.  I am feeling better (although not 100%) about my sister being pregnant, but she is due exactly 3 weeks after me, so it does pose some logistical issues in terms of support, particularly if I am late.  My sister is less likely to be late as she will ask to be induced.  So, it is very possible that our babies could be 1-2 weeks apart.  This will be a strain on my parents.  So, I will need to be good about putting together a non-family support team for the birth and immediate postpartum period.

My tasks for today include trying to get some food in me, trying to get my house clean, and trying to find some courage.  I will keep you all posted on how these next few weeks turn out!