9 Weeks

Well, I've made it to 9 weeks.  There's not too much to report this week, but I thought I would try to check in at least once per week.  I've still been pretty nauseous and actually got sick earlier this week when I got a whiff of white vinegar.  Today, I'm actually not feeling as nauseous or tired, but that's a catch 22.  Symptoms disappearing makes me worry that something is wrong.  So, it's pretty much a lose-lose situation at the moment!  I still wish that I was eating better.  I know that I'm supposed to be eating all these fruits and vegetables, but all my body really wants when I can actually eat something is carbs and fats.  I am taking advantage of feeling good today by going on an OCD cleaning binge.

I'm feeling a little bit better about the whole sister-being-pregnant-at-the-same-time situation.  I mean, it's going to take awhile before I'm completely over it, but I am feeling better than last week.  She and I has a long phone conversation this week, which is mostly what helped.  I feel really uneasy if we're not speaking.  I also concluded from my conversation with her that, as much as I love her, she is insane.  So, that provided some validation.

I've made a pregnancy to-do list, which is kind of long and scary.  Most of the things need to wait until after the first trimester, but I'm trying to work on what I can now.  This week, I had the grueling task of applying for additional life insurance.  I figured I should do this before I start gaining weight, although I think I will still be in an ok weight range later on.  So, tomorrow, I have an examiner coming to my house (so weird) to take blood and stuff.  Take note of this in case I go missing!  I think the worst part of the to-do list is going to be all of the "in case I die" preparations.  It's all so depressing, but so necessary at the same time, uhg.

I have started vacillating between being excitement and sheer terror.  I've had a few "can I really do this?" moments this week.  I'm sure this will be an ongoing theme.  Organizing things and making to-do lists actually does kind of help though.

Overall, I am doing ok and still eagerly awaiting the end of the first trimester so that I can be openly pregnant.  A little less that 3 weeks!  I can officially "come out" on Halloween.